Logan The Easter Bunny
by PearlyJammer
Summary: Logan in a bunny suit. That's all I'm gonna say.


Title: Logan the Easter Bunny  
  
Author: Autumn   
  
E-mail: eddievedderismylife@hotmail.com  
  
Archive Rights: Mutual Admiration, WRFA, XMMFFC, etc.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters abused in this story.   
Easter belongs to JC, Jerry Fallwell, and Tinky Winky.  
  
Author's notes: I originally wrote this as a fic for "That '70s   
Show." Yes, I am plagiarizing from myself, I am a bad, bad person.   
The format is a tad different than my normal style, then again my   
normal style isn't really normal, so never mind.  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The X-Men Lounge...  
  
Scott. Remy, and Bobby are laughing so hard they are crying. The   
view   
shifts to the subject of their glee, a very pissed Wolverine. He   
is sitting with his arms crossed hard across his chest and a   
murderous look across his face. More importantly he is dressed in a   
pink terrycloth Easter Bunny costume complete with rabbit ears and a   
fluffy tail.  
  
Remy: Oh man, how did you get roped into that?!  
  
Logan: (in a dangerous tone) Marie.  
  
Bobby: Oh! Rogue pulled a fast one on Logan, again!  
  
Scott: Yeah, man she has got you so whipped, and you're not even   
dating her!  
  
Remy: Oui, mon frae!   
  
Logan: You assholes better shut it, or I'll shove some metal through   
your fuckin' chests!  
  
Bobby: Oh, boy that would be a sight too see. Peter Rabbit goin' all   
homicidal!  
  
Scott: So Mr. Cottontail, how did this happen?  
  
Logan sighs in resignation and begins his tail of woe....  
  
Logan: Ok, it all started with this stupid game.....  
  
Earlier that day in the X-mansion....  
  
Logan, Rogue, and Jubilee are sitting around with nothing to do.  
Logan's staring at Rogue, who is filling her nails, completely   
oblivious. Jubilee watches him, and a light bulb goes off in her head.  
  
Jubilee: Dudes, you like wanna play a little game?  
  
Logan: (still staring at Rogue) What kind of game?  
  
Jubilee: Well it's called Total Truth. We each write down one dare,   
it   
can be as embarrassing as you want it to be and stick it in a hat.   
Then we each draw one out. We then play total truth. We ask each other questions and you have to answer honestly, when you get a   
question the you refuse to answer, you take your dare, read it, and   
HAVE to do it.  
  
Rogue: Sounds interesting.  
  
Logan: I'm in.  
  
The three busily write down their dares and stick them in at. They draw them out and place them behind them.   
Logan smirked the entire time thinking that nobody could out dare   
him. Hindsight is 20/20, I'll tell you that for free, Logan however,   
didn't even think about the consequences, after all, it was Jubilee   
and   
Rogue, how bad could their questions be?  
  
Jubilee: Rogue, wanna start?  
  
Rogue: Jubilee, what's your most embarrassing moment?  
  
Jubilee: When Bobby depantsed me last year in Ms. Munroe's class.  
  
Jubilee: Wolvie, did you nail Betsy?  
  
Logan: No, and I wouldn't want too. Weak question Jubilee.  
  
Logan: Marie, what color is your underwear? He smirked, certain   
that he'd already gotten her out of the game. Marie wouldn't answer   
a question like that, but he wanted to get a rise out of her.  
  
His jaw dropped when she simply lifted the waistband of her jeans   
and checked.   
  
Rogue: Green. Would you like to check Logan? She asked sweetly.  
  
Logan: No, I uh just, uh, I didn't think you'd answer my   
question.  
  
Rogue: Well, surprise, surprise I did. Ok, so Jubes, how many   
times a week do you and Remy do it?  
  
Jubilee and Logan: Rogue/Marie!  
  
Rogue: What, I can ask any question can't I?  
  
Jubilee: Um yeah. Ok, like 15.  
  
Rogue: lets out a whistle, and Logan just grunts.  
  
Jubilee: Wolvie, how many times do you masturbate a night?  
  
Rogue and Logan: Jubilee!  
  
Junes: Hey, he doesn't have to answer if he doesn't want too. He can   
always punk out and go for the dare.  
  
Logan: I'll answer the damn question. Um, probably   
about three.  
  
Rogue: Whoa! (In a teasing tone) He's certainly a strapping young   
lad!  
  
Logan shifts uncomfortably in his seat and tries to think of a REALLY   
good question to ask Marie).  
  
Logan: Ok, Marie. ( He gets an EVIL look across his face) What was   
the strangest thing that you and- oh, damnit I can't ask that! What   
do you usually sleep in? Logan lifts his beer up to drink, disgusted   
with himself.  
  
Rogue: Nothing.   
  
Logan spits out the drink he had just taken.  
  
Rogue: Something wrong Logan?  
  
Logan: No, it's uh, I just kind of expected you to say, a nightgown   
with unicorns on it or something.  
  
Rogue:(brightly) Well, you learn something new everyday!  
  
Jubes: I'll say.  
  
Marie: Oh, good it's Jubes' turn! Have you ever giv-  
  
Jubes: Ok, I'm done now! She pulls out her dare and reads it aloud.   
  
Jubes: Rub cheese under Scott's bed. (rolls her eyes) That was weak   
Logan.  
  
Logan: Turn it over.  
  
Jubes(turns paper over) While Scott and Jeanie are in it!  
  
Logan and Rogue laugh, while Jubes tries to stay mad at the two.  
  
Logan: Ok, so it's my turn now. Marie, have you ever.... (he trailed   
off) been to Disneyland? He finished lamely.  
  
Jubes stared at him, this wasn't Logan. He ALWAYS won at these   
kinds of things. Yet here he was asking Rogue extremely simplistic   
questions.  
  
Rogue: Yes. (She grew serious and lowered her eyes before asking in   
a quiet voice.) You know that one dream that you have where you and   
me are in the field?   
  
Logan nods his head affirmatively.   
  
Rogue: Well, at the end it always looks like you want to ask me   
something. What is it that you are trying to say?  
  
Logan: Uhhh..... He wanted to answer her, but not with Jubes sitting   
right there.  
  
Logan: Ok, fine I cave, I'll do the stupid bet.  
  
Marie looked slightly disappointed but didn't have much time to think   
about it as Logan started yelling.  
  
Logan: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF FUCKING BET IS THIS! THIS IS JUST   
GODDAMN EVIL!   
DRESSING UP AS THE FREAKIN' EASTER FUCKIN' BUNNY?!  
  
Marie and Jubes both burst out laughing at the mental image.  
  
Jubes: It's your own stupid fault, you couldn't even ask her a real   
question! Serves you right dude!  
  
Marie looking very pleased with herself turned to the still Seething   
Wolverine. Completely oblivious to his anger, a bubbly Marie turned   
to Logan and proceeded to tell him all about his upcoming adventure.  
  
Marie: Oh, it'll be perfect! You'll wear this cute, pink, Easter   
bunny costume, and be surrounded by cute little kids all day, taking   
pictures! And I'll be there all day in my cute little chick outfit.   
It'll be so much fun! I've gotta run to the store and get your   
costume! Oh, you are such a sweetheart for doing this for the mall!   
She kissed him on the cheek and bounded out the door.  
  
Jubes to Marie: I am such a pansy! What the hell is wrong with me? I   
can't believe I have to spend the day in a damn rabbit suite   
promoting a holiday that the government exploits to make people damn   
fat! I'm a man damnit! I'm not supposed to be dressed as a freakin'   
rabbit!  
  
Jubes: (getting up to leave) Dude, love makes people do fucked up   
things.  
  
Logan: (growling) What the hell does that mean?   
  
Jubes just shrugged her shoulders and exited the room, leaving Logan   
to sulk over his fate.  
  
Back in the lounge.....  
  
Scott: Logan, you are such a pushover!  
  
Logan: shut it One-eye, or I'll tell Jean all about that little   
dream you had about Storm.  
  
Scott: Then I'll tell Rogue about you crying when she went out on   
that date with St. John.  
  
Logan: Asshole, you're dead. Logan in all his pink terry clothed   
glory, lunges at Scott and they wrestle on the ground. Rogue enters   
the basement and runs over to the two men.  
  
Rogue: Scott! Stop it, you'll get Logan's costume all dirty!  
  
Remy: Yeah Scott you'll get the petite-fairy-man all messed up!  
  
Rogue: Shut up Remy, you're just jealous that YOU couldn't look   
sexy as a rabbit.   
  
Remy: OH! I would make a muy magnifico rabbit! Logan, give Remy the   
costume!  
  
Logan: No. If Marie says you'd be a lame looking rabbit, then that's   
all there is to it.  
  
Rogue: Thank you Logan, not let's go! There are so many excited   
kids waiting to see you!  
  
So, Marie dressed as a little chick, and Logan left the basement to   
the mirth of their friends and teammates.  
  
Scott: Ladies and gentleman, Logan the Easter Bunny has left the   
building!  
  
================================================================  
  
In the next installment, find out how Logan deals with being a furry   
little mammal. 


End file.
